Member-only story
Come as You Are
Neurodivergent Identity & Support vs. Disorder & Cure
“Come as you are, as you were, As I want you to be, As a friend, as a friend…Choice is yours…” — Nirvana
I have ADHD and Autism. This means my brain is wired to think, communicate and socialize in a different way. I try to use language with precision. I am not constrained to traditional ways of doing things to solve problems. I ask questions to gain clarity rather than making assumptions. Frequency nor exclusivity of contact is not a defining factor in the closeness or level of love and care in my relationships. I like these things about myself. They are part of my identity from which I do not need to be cursed, er, cured.
I am short. 5'1" to be exact. This means I move through the world differently than tall people. I do not need to duck as often and do not hit my heads on things like low ceilings. I fit in airline seats, and I sit with my feet tucked under me on sofas. I can still enjoy the sensory feeling of my feet swinging in the air while sitting in a chair that tall people had to give up before going to middle school. I like these things about myself. They are part of my identity from which I do not need to be cursed, er, cured.
No one would suggest I should be placed on a stretcher or given growth hormones to “fix” my shortness. At the same time, no one would question my need for a step stool, custom hemmed pants, or the assistance of a tall person at the grocery store. Tall people may lament the inconvenience of helping us short people at the grocery store, but they accept our shortness as something inherent to our being. Something to be navigated and accommodated with kindness and understanding, not fixed.
However, I commonly see the parents and doctors of neurodivergent people, treat them as if they are broken, rather than different. They focus on finding “treatments” to “cure” them of the behaviors deemed troublesome to people other than the neurodivergent person, rather than focusing on determining if that if person is suffering, and if they are, how they can help relieve that suffering.
I am short.
I am autistic.
