The Weight of Invisible Autism: Why ‘You Don’t Look Autistic’ is More Harmful Than You Think
I really, really hate it when people say, “You don’t look Autistic.” You might be right, in fact, I hope you’re right, but that statement isn’t a compliment, nor is it harmless.
I don’t look Autistic in the way the stereotype dictates, because the stereotype is based on little white boys. I am not a child. I am not male. The stereotype also, often, assums that all people with Autism are low functioning and have a low IQ. I am neither of those either. I also have ADHD. There are common traits of ADHD, such as outgoing, extroverted behaviors that can cancel out, at least situationally, some common Autistic traits such as struggling with eye contact and introverted behaviors.
I have also spent my entire life honing my acting skills so that I don’t “look” Autistic, even long before I knew that’s what it was I was hiding. Recently, I wrote about a sensory meltdown I had, at 4:30am, by myself. That meltdown would not have happened in public. You’ll never see the vast majority of my outwardly visible Autistic traits unless I both trust you enough to let you see them and mostly likely, you live with me.